An Apprehensive Response to Unreciprocated Courtesy

And here we have Jefferson, who sat outside on one temperate April morning munching on some Froot Loops he had brought earlier that morning. Unfortunate for him, he hated Froot Loops. They were the last bowl of any cereal brand in the cafeteria that day, he was more of a simple Cheerios guy and quite frankly despised the sugar loaded kinds of cereal, but he couldn't just walk out of the cafeteria empty handed, or even bring himself to ask the ever-so-kind lunch lady if they might have any extra Cheerios bowls. No, he didn't want to sound rude or strike an inconvenience to anyone. This, he feared most. Such a people pleaser he is.

He settled in shade against the gymnasium wall and opened the package of cereal and poured in some below average milk, wishing he could have just asked for his Cheerios.

He took a couple of bites, tolerating the sameness taste of the multicolored rings when Principal McCluskey strolled on by, wearing his usual elephant smile and dad hat. Jefferson made eye contact with his principal while simultaneously sinking a spoonful of his breakfast. This proved to be a mistake for Jefferson, as McCluskey gave a quick wave and said

“Hey! Good morning!”

But Jefferson couldn't respond, his fricking mouth was full of Froot Loops. This made him panic, like really panic. He managed a quick half smile, cheeks expanded unflatteringly as they held bits of Froot Loops, but it was too late for him, Principal McCluskey had walked past him.

“Heck!!” thought Jefferson, beginning to fall into a pit of self destruction

“Nonono, ohmygoodness, I feel so bad I didn't say hello back, I'm terrible, he probably hates me now, he just has to now, should I catch up to him and apologize, is that weird, ohmygoodness you're so stupid Jefferson, McCluskey probably thinks I'm rude now, noooo nonono i really hope he doesn't think I'm being mean on purpose, oh he's too far now to catch up if I even wanted to, ohmygoodness I hate myself, McCluskey hates me,”

Jefferson paused his thoughts and noticed he had been unaware that he was staring blankly at a girl on a bench, sitting a few meters in front of him,

“Ohmygoodness,” he thought, “How long was I looking at her, what's wrong with you Jefferson, she's moving seats, she saw me, she definitely thinks I'm crazy, that I'm some weird nut, frick frick friiiiick, this morning has been dreadful, why am I still eating these Froot Loops, I didn't want Froot Loops dang it, if I would’ve had the nerve to ask for Cheerios, or not get breakfast at all, what the heck Jefferson why are we like thisssssss,”

Jefferson thought about standing up and walking into the library or something, somewhere away from where he was. Yeah, the library was good. So there he went. He took long strides to leave the gymnasium in a hurry, then short strides to act more inconspicuous, then longer strides again because a crane fly started circling him. He barely resisted the urge to run in his fear of crane flies, but managed to maintain his cool. Or, what was left of it.

Finally he reached the school library. He leaped in, pulling a 180 to close the door quickly so that fricking crane fly would bug off. Vicious creatures they are. He took a deep breath, then turned around to look for an empty tabl-

Ohmygoodness

McCluskey was in the library

McCluskey was in the library

McCluskey. Was. In. The. Library.

Jefferson froze in place, unable to react.

Principal McCluskey stood at the front desk, chatting with one of the library aids. For a moment, just a quick moment, Jefferson thought about getting the heck out of dodge, but his knees were locked.

“Should I apologize to him, does he remember, does he care, ohmygoodness what if he won’t forgive me, I just gotta explain, frick, okay, I can do this, I can hecking do this,”

He couldn't. McCluskey turned from his conversation with the library aid and walked to the exit, where Jefferson, unaware of the eyes he had attracted from being awkwardly planted at the doors. He had been standing for the past 48 seconds. Kids were laughing, some whispered amongst themselves, all eyes were on him. Jefferson opened his mouth to speak, but his voice cracked as he said,

“Fellas…”

Laughs intensified, as expected when anyone has a crack in their voice while stating a sentence with ‘fellas.’

Oh no, what came next was out of a 2005 high school movie drama. Jefferson, that 15 year-old wool sweater wearing dork, wet his pants in nervousness. Yes, the laughing intensified even more, teens being the horrible creatures they are. Some even blogged the whole event, cameras aimed at the kid.

Jefferson just stood there this whole time, a frozen mess. There was no way he could come back from this.

Reacting with speed, he bolted out the doors.

And then out of the school gates

He ran and ran until he reached his house, threw open the front door, nearly giving his mother a fifth heart attack,

“MUM,” He cried out, reaching for her arm in shortness of breath, “I need to transfer!!”

His mother just signed and turned away. She hadn’t the energy to tell her son that she wasn’t going to move schools again.

#solipsism